I feel overwhelmed…
But somehow not at all by ALL of the things I’ve decided to take on in this experiment.
I feel overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have. By the idea that if I decided to move across the country right now, it would take me a week to pack my belongings. And then I’d have to carry it all down a flight of stairs to get it into a moving truck that I’d have to pay to rent. I’ve always thought it would be such a romantic idea to only own what could fit in a suitcase. But I’m sick of fantasizing. I want that to be my reality.
I feel overwhelmed by how terrible I feel. I’m always tired. I never have energy to even get out of bed some days, let alone work for 8 hours, then come home and cook dinner, then workout and work on my own personal projects. So I’m going to make my personal projects my lifestyle for a while. If I’m working on a project it means I’m working on myself.
I feel overwhelmed by the amount of money I spend on things I don’t need. Things I end up using once, never using, or throwing away. I feel overwhelmed by how much I waste.
I feel overwhelmed by how often I feel overwhelmed. I’m ready to take my life back.
Here are just a few examples of where I am today. I own 3 yoga mats. I currently practice yoga about once a week, and I use the same mat every time. I own 3 crates of yarn and haven’t practiced knitting in over 2 years. Before I moved to my current apartment, those same crates sat in my basement, untouched, for at least a year… A full DVD rack in a Netflix world. An adorable dresser covered in all of the candles and plants, full of countless office supplies. And then there’s my closet… The basket in the corner is just one of THREE baskets that are currently hosting all of my dirty clothes. Not pictured… The TWO baskets that are full of clean clothes that I just haven’t put away yet.
I feel overwhelmed by having to clean all of this up.
In other news… I have been trying to be a vegan for about a month. Maybe more. But it’s hard to remember because I was consistently falling off the wagon. I have been exploring reasons why I haven’t been able to keep up, and my biggest problem is that I am currently a HUGE fan of convenience. I’m also terrible at grocery shopping… I would get to work, realize I forgot to pack a lunch, then I would try to make it until after work to eat something at home. But waiting 8 hours to eat… IMPOSSIBLE. The moment I think, “I’ll just eat when I get home”, is the same moment that I can think of NOTHING but food. Also, waiting that long to eat is NOT healthy.
I feel overwhelmed by how much stuff is going on in my life this year. I am trying to find a new job, I am planning a trip to Disney with my family, I am GETTING MARRIED… I just don’t have room for the discontent I am currently feeling.
Long story short. I feel overwhelmed, and I am really really looking forward to starting this journey. I’m looking forward to learning along the way. I am looking forward to eliminating all my stuff, and bad food choices and waste to make room for more happiness.